facebook

I am a stalker.

I am a procrastinator.

I am a little bit lonely.

I am a little bit bored.

I wonder what he is showing off in paris. His art? His other woman? She is not much to show off. I am not being mean, I am just being honest. I found a pic on facebook.

Facebook is the bane of my existence. I should be e mailing managers and artists for hi res photos. I should be sending out e mails to listings editors and making sure my shows are getting listed. I should be finding a band to place with Jay Nash on November 24th.

I am doing none of these things.

I am just sitting here listening to a great record and wondering what he is doing in Paris. The balding, jewish, creative artist. I used to cry a little when we did it. I have no idea why. I guess I really did like him. I pretended not to. Maybe that is what went wrong. Or maybe he just did not like me like that.

What is the point of casual? Why is that what everyone wants with me. Casual. I am so not casual. Last night I accidentally, casually, spent the night in my friend Derek's bed. Oops. If my ex knew he would die. That is probably why I did it. It was worthwhile, I will say that.

Nashville comes to New York in a month. I am excited. I love to love and be loved. But I pretend I like to be single. I don't. I am just tired of all the effort, I guess that is why it is easy to keep my heart invested in something that is so far away. Minimal effort, minimal chance for heartbreak.

I don't think my heart could handle another crack. It is getting really unshapely at this point.

I miss singing songs.

x,
ROL