Thursday, February 14, 2008

almost 3 months later.....

Lord. I don't even know the last time I wrote to you all or to myself or to anyone for that matter. It has been a long time and I can not even remember the last item I ranted about. But man, I have missed it. I have missed you. I have missed me a bit.

My, my. What has happened. I have changed. My voice has returned after hard months of therapy and trying to get life back before my body was ready. It is strange when your b ody just cuts out on you and literally tells you to STOP DOING WHAT YOU ARE DOING.

My voice came back, edgy and stringy and strange. It was quiet, without power, people had to say, "what?" when I said something. That is RARE when you are Deena Goodman. RARE. It was painful, not physically, but emotionally. No control over a bodily function as necessary as speaking.

I got stronger, weaker, stronger. Got confident, went out, talked in loud rooms, sang here and there, regretted it, got tired, got sick and got healthy. I got my voice back.

I have it. It is in there. It is different and so am I.

To be continued.

ps Dean got me roses today- his first flower purchase ever. wow.