Lady in the Dark

I wonder what makes songs sound pretty to people. Some songs are pretty to some people and some songs are pretty to other people. Like people for people. Some people are pretty to some people and some people are pretty to other people.

Is it just chemistry? Does chemistry work with songs too?

"I don't remember where all this was going
now that days get closer and we get farther apart
but its hard to wake from these beds we make
all on our own
its easier just to keep living in the dark."
--Patrick Park

Maybe its the swing in the rhythm, or the natural, dirty sound of his voice, the prominence of it amongst the rest of the recording, like red paint on a black canvas. I probably love it because of its natural, soulful feel, nothing artificial. Then there are the lyrics. Which speak to almost every part of my stir crazy life. And the words ring true as words I know Dean felt close to at the end of us.

Of course the record was given to me by him...one of the many remnants of him.

It is easy to live in the dark. I think I pick dark to light pretty often. I am doing that with Justin. My Nashville lover. I mean we look to each other with such hope, like we are truly connected on some level. And I suppose we are, but do we even really know each other and in reality would it ever really work? No. That is the answer, but it's easier to hold onto the lie then face the truth. That without holding on to the feelings we imagine we would be alone. Utterly.

So we live in the dark, across states that live as boundaries to protect our hearts from getting bruised.