I live at home!

Picture this:

Friday night, 10:45 pm, 26 year old girl, perched on parents bedroom lounge chair gearing up for a night of "Studio 60" catch up, waiting for my mother to finish up with her nightly routine in order to get started.

It's a real party here in Teaneck, New Jersey!

After high school I decided to study at Tisch School of the Arts at New York University. I did so because a)I got in early b)it was one of the schools my parents would allow me to attend to study drama and music because it was also a "real" school c)it was the number 1 school in the field of undergraduate acting training and d) (secretly) it was very close to home. Additional perk was of course that it was in downtown Manhattan, a city I dreamed of inhabiting for my entire life. Now I am not some small town girl, I grew up in Teaneck, albeit a suburb, it was still only miles from Manhattan. My start at NYU at 18 years old was not, as it was for many of my friends, my 1st or 2nd trip to Manhattan. In fact, I don't actually remember my first visit to Manhattan, the first sighting of the bright lights, the first subway ride I took, the first sight of the skyline, it was just always our city. My father works in Manhattan, any time there was something fun to do as a family (museums, shows, dinner) it happened in Manhattan. This is not to say that I didn't experience the same excitement as, say, the fresh faced, bright eyed student from Omaha, Nebraska felt upon finding out that I would get to pack my bags, drive accross the GWB for the umpteenth time and park my self and all of my belongings in the great city of Manhattan, the big apple, the city of bright lights, the city that never sleeps!

I was ready! Though only 15 minutes from home I felt entirely new, independent, larger then life, almost eratic. There was no focusing for me, everything was at my fingertips. New people, all kinds, I made my first friends of many different types. Having grown up in a religious Jewish community and going to religious Jewish schools I was generally surrounded by Jewish people. I had even opted to dorm at NYU with my friend from highschool, so branching out was exciting. And I did.

I graduated from College 4 years ago, and through college I thought I had experienced it all, I thought there was not possibly more to the city that I had not already uncovered, people, places, shows, parties and so on.

I had not even made my first trip to Brooklyn yet ;) What did I know.....

Over the next 4 years New York City opened up worlds to me I had no idea even existed. I worked at a record label, PR firm, nightclubs, hob nobbed with celebrities (I did just use that phrase didn't I), hung with the starving-est of artist. Dated the wrong people, dated the right people and did wrong by them. Experience after experience. And I loved it. There was nothing to stop me in Manhattan. It was my town.

In all of that my favorite part of life was my music. I think many people reading this expect this blog to be all about the music I write, sing, play, listen to, new tracks, new tunes, new shows. My influences, my artistic journey, my life as an artist. Well, this is it. Much of life as an artist, few will lead on, has nothing to do with the creation of your art or music in my case. It is experience. You need to have it in order to build material, in order to write. The other side of being an artist, aside from creating art, is networking, being out, meeting a zillion people, talking your ass off and working your shit like never before. I'm a natural when it comes to that. Talking to people is my game, its why I did well in nightlife, as a party promoter, its why PR came easy to me and its hopefully why I will find success as an artist.

And all of this is what has taken up pretty much the last half of my 8 year stint in the big city. I attempted to conquer its small world. And it was a blast.

In the meantime of all of this I suffered from a major voice disorder, nodules, polyps, swollen cords and I fought through it all. Sleep meant little to me, drinking with friends at parties meant a lot, staying out late at rock shows meant more and writing and singing my music to whomever would listen mean the MOST.

So I did it all and I did myself in. People would often look at me and say, how do you do this? It will catch up to you, you are burning your candle at all ends, yada yada.

Whoever said that to me, this part of my blog is an ode to you.

How right you were.

Because (pan left back to current scene) I am sitting here typing this blog, sitting home on a friday night (in my parents house, where I now LIVE), taking it easy, hoping to retrieve some semblance of myself in order to keep on playing and singing my music.

After 8 years experiencing life in Manhattan, I have opted to give up my Gramercy apartment, give up the opportunity to have a fabulous job in the fabulous nightlife/events industry and continue on my pursuit of my dream to play my music, to be a successful musician and make it my life.

I made this brave decision before I found out I had done myself so far in that a lump had manifested itself on my vocal cord a trial which stood as a major road block in all of my majorly brave plans.

So still I sit, here at home, only now I wonder what the hell will happen to me. My plan of touring the west coast in August and the east coast (with my lovely friend Derek James) has to be put on somewhat of a hold as I figure out when and how I will afford this major surgery I apparently need.

Still I will spend my 2 weeks in LA, checking out that lifestyle, playing a great show with my friends Fools For April on the bill. But then I will return home, to New Jersey! Not Manhattan! Reasess my life, fix my voice, get better and get out on that North East tour by MAYBE November. This is if everything goes well.

If not.

It looks like watching Studio 60 reruns from my parents bedroom arm chair will be my life.

Y'all better pray for me!

I promise the next blog will be music related ;) I actually have many fun things to let you all know about.

xRed Out Loud