drugs

The doctor found the cyst on my vocal fold the day before I was set to sing the national anthems at an event I helped plan and three days before I was set to sing a show at my favorite downtown venue- The Rockwood Music Hall.

I told him there was no way I could not sing these shows. He told me that there actually WAS no way I was singing the shows unless he put me on a steroid pack. You guys hear steroids and you think heavy duty working out, big muscles, facial hair, heated temper etc. Supposedly these steroids are just to reduce swelling of any kind (hence my vocal cord with its new and large growth)!

Let me tell you. they work! They worked so well for me on Thursday night that I not only sounded like my recent self I actually sounded like my ORIGINAL self! You know the self before I even had my first vocal injury. Just round gorgeous notes, easy to sing and lovely.

My mood was a different story. They tell you to be wary, steroids can effect your mood, they can make you nervous, emotional, depressed, hyper. I mean, I feel most of those things on a daily basis as it is, but woa. Were they right. Just as I was ready to call steroids my new best friend, fiend for them, seek out any means to have them by my side at all times I started to feel this small inclination towards ripping my hairs out, one at a time, my heart was beating fast, and I kept having to leave the room full of people to make sure I was still alive in general. The next evening after a long day I came home to my apartment, which I only have for the next 6 days :( sat on my couch and just cried. No good reason, just melted down.

woa.

maybe steroids aren't the best idea. Do I give up sanity in order to have a pretty voice for the next month, just to get through some shows that are extremely important to me?! The answer for me seems obvious.....

Watch out for some crazy, babbling red head walking the streets of New York!

And come out to my shows, because at least they will sound good!

x,
Red Out Loud