It's weird to live life and not actually do anything. Literally spending days biding time. In my life absence or absence of life I have aquired an addiction. To TV. And it makes sense to me. I mean, think about it, if your life is in limbo what else would you want to do? Watch a million lives that are not your own and pretend you are accomplishing what they are. yay.
I can't tell you how many minutes of this wait time I spend thinking about what I else I could do with my so called life. You would think when you lose your voice, you are a singer and you can't sing all you would think about would be singing, performing, playing music- things obvious like that. Not me. I think of everything else I could be, everyone else I could be. This may seem depressing to you, but it doesnt actually make me sad. It is just sort of something I do to pass my time. I suppose the sad part of it is that I could be doing some work towards my ultimate goal, but it seems without the product to sell I can't do any of the prep work either. Writing, meeting, none of it. So I am working on other people and other people's goals, diving head first into other people's lives. The way I do with my favorite TV characters.
Please watch the following shows if you too are looking for a diversion from your reality or lack there of:
Californication: mysoginistic but playful parody of life as a writer in LA. It tries to be deep and may achieve just that eventually, however at this point it simply morally derails women and their roles in LA society, something women in LA (forgive me for generalizing) have probably asked for.
Mad Men: Seemingly mysoginistic, but really only a depiction of an utterly mysoginistic, bigoted, closed hearted time period in our history. Cant blame them for acting and writing the truth. Intelligent gaze into the hearts and minds and flaws of all those personalities that made it up: buttoned up executives with lots to hide, Doris day housewives with lots to hide, working girls with lots to hide and even bohos with lots to hide. Seems mans tragic flaw has corrupted our world, work and home, for a very long time.
Tell Me You Love Me: 4 couples in different stages of their relationships explore the problems that go with them. FIghting through issues that in an ideal world would be worked through, but in real life might just remain issues to be worked through. Constantly.
All shows prove life, love and the pursuit of happiness (ah the age old cliche) are borderline unachievable at best.
Sould I take a hint?
Maybe it is no wonder that all three of these shows get me each time! I will blame it on the time I have, so much so that I can write to you about it all, or maybe its the 3 diet cokes I drank tonight keeping me up. I'm not supposed to drink Diet coke, but with 3 weeks until my surgery I have somehow deemed all inappropriate treatment of my voice allowable.
Stupid, really.
Cut to me at this very moment....About to sleep in my boyfriends empty bed in brooklyn while he rides DIsney land with his little nephews, my best friend is also my boyfriends roomate, she's in her bedroom lost again over her on and off boyfriend and there is a clock ticking above my head. Loudly.
Good thing I have ear plugs.
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